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So I'm thinking of hosting a pansexual trans* and genderqueer sex party.

Before I even start thinking about practical things like venues, how many condoms and dams we'll need, etc etc etc, I want to get some other transpeople's input on the idea as a whole.

I think as transpeople we struggle with a whole different range of problems and insecurities at sex parties. One of the reasons I want to host such a beast is because I would like to attend one - and that's usually a good start. But I'm only one person, I only know what I think and feel about sex parties and my gender, and all the issues that come up in between. I need other people's opinions.

So. What would you want taken into consideration for a trans/genderqueer sex party? Be as vague or as detailed as you like.

Some things you might like to give your opinion on:

* Should cisgendered people be allowed as long as they are the partner of a transperson who is also attending?
* Do you think a balance of mtfs, ftms and genderqueers is important?
* Should fetish and BDSM be allowed or encouraged? Perhaps in a different room?
* Would a theme help or hinder?
* Would everyone introducing themselves and explaining what pronouns they prefer etc at the beginning help build a good atmosphere or make people uncomfortable?
* Should crossdressers be allowed?

But don't stop there. What do you think needs to be taken into consideration for a trans sex party? What do you have trouble finding or accessing mentally, emotionally or physically at sex parties that are run and attended by cisgendered people? Throw it all at me, I want to pick your brains! :)
 
 
 
 
 
 
1) yes, I think cisgendered partners should be allowed. Many transfolk are in relationships with cisgendered folk and it would be rather odd to ask them to leave their partners at home.

2) depends on your goals of the party and how you market it

3) could be nice, separate room is a good idea though..

4) I always like parties with themes, but YMMV.

5) I would like such a thing at the beginning of an event like this, if for no other reason to know who's name to moan.

6) this is a tricky one... how would you differentiate between a CD and a part time, pre HRT transperson?
It's not nice to discriminate against the cisgendered. It's no more right than it is for them to discriminate against us, so yeah they should be allowed. That said, the whole thing should be by invite only so creeps don't get in but that's just my opinion.

I don't think you can get a balance unless you really work at it.

I love BDSM and fetish. But it makes some people uncomfortable so maybe in a different room. Oh and you should tell people explicitly to bring their own floggers, restraints, etc because at the last fetish party I went to lots of people didn't have any and I didn't feel comfortable using other people's stuff in the dungeon.

Well... it depends on what kind of theme. The fetish ball I went to was a masquerade theme. It was SO much fun. But if you did something like a medical theme or furry or something it would exclude a lot of people who aren't into that.

I hate self-introduction games. HATE! RAWR! ... okay now that that's out of the way, this is how I would deal with that. Have everybody write down any information they would want anybody at the party to know in a notepad or folded piece of paper. If someone wants to know so they can play properly, show them the paper and let them decide if they want any of that action. Why? Cause it's private that way and nametags SUCK. Nothing's worse than everyone walking around staring at each other's chests instead of seeing their faces.

Crossdressers should certainly be allowed. That comes in under the pansexual category.

That's my two cents. That's like... 1.998 American right? LOL Peace out.
i would love to go to something like this. as long as the creepy chaser types were screened very diligently.
Sounds fun to me... although in a trans sex party, I would only be comfortable with MTF/FTM's and parnets of the two groups.
Hi, so I just stumbled upon this post. And I see you are also in Melbourne, so I'm curious. Did you run a party like this? I think I may have heard about one like this a while ago and maybe it was yours but not sure if it actually happened. Do you know of any other queer/alternative sex parties in Melb?
Yes, I did run the party! In October 2008. Unfortunately I haven't been able to run it again since.

Unfortunately I don't know of any other parties presently running, sorry :(